Attachment Styles in Relationships
Understanding the four attachment styles and how they affect our relationships.
Reviewed by Grounded Scribe ·
Each psychoeducation page is checked against current Australian source authorities (RANZCP, APS, AASW, OT Australia, Beyond Blue, Headspace, Black Dog Institute) and updated at least annually.
Attachment theory was developed by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth (1969–1978). The four-style summary on this page is an original educational summary; for the original research see *Attachment and Loss* (Bowlby) and the Strange Situation studies (Ainsworth).
Assign this to a client in 30 seconds
Free Grounded Scribe account · client gets it in their portal under your name
Attachment Styles
Attachment theory, developed by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, describes patterns in how we relate to others, formed in early childhood but influencing us throughout life.
Secure Attachment
Characteristics:
- Comfortable with intimacy and independence
- Trusts others and themselves
- Can communicate needs clearly
- Handles conflict constructively
- Feels worthy of love
Anxious Attachment
Characteristics:
- Desires a lot of closeness
- Worries about rejection or abandonment
- May seek constant reassurance
- Highly sensitive to partner's moods
- May feel unworthy or not good enough
Avoidant Attachment
Characteristics:
- Values independence highly
- Uncomfortable with too much closeness
- May suppress emotions
- Tends to withdraw when stressed
- May seem emotionally unavailable
Disorganized Attachment
Characteristics:
- Mix of anxious and avoidant behaviors
- May simultaneously seek and fear intimacy
- Often linked to childhood trauma
- Unpredictable responses in relationships
- May struggle with emotional regulation
Can Attachment Styles Change?
Yes! While attachment patterns form early, they can be changed through:
- Self-awareness and understanding
- Therapy, especially attachment-focused therapy
- Secure relationships that provide new experiences
- Consistent practice of new patterns
Reflection Questions
Prompts you can use yourself or share with a client.
- 1
Which attachment style do you most identify with?
- 2
How does your attachment style show up in your relationships?
- 3
What would moving toward secure attachment look like for you?
Assign this handout to your client's portal
Free Grounded Scribe account. Your client gets the handout, an interactive worksheet, and a reflection space — all under your name.
Create free account & assignNo credit card · Free forever for solo practitioners